One of the most memorable moments in my childhood was renting a bicycle over the weekends and learning to ride it. After I started riding well with the rented cycle, one day my parents gifted me a brand-new red Hercules Captain. I was overjoyed and was completely thrilled that I was with the cycle throughout that day; I just didn’t carry it with me to bed. The next day was Sunday, and I decided to take my own cycle for the ride with friends rather than renting one.
In those days, we used to rent cycles over the weekends on an hourly basis for a joy ride with friends in the locality. I got up early and rushed to my new cycle; I was shocked to see it scratched all over. I didn’t know how to react and could not stop crying. My parents were also shocked to see the state of the cycle. On enquiring into the issue, we came to know my neighbour was jealous of my new cycle and scratched the cycle with a stone. She could not digest the fact that I would be riding a new cycle when she was still using an old one. Her parents apologised to my parents for their daughter’s act. Though I could not overcome the pain, time started to heal my hard feelings, and I started enjoying my scratched cycle.
Decades passed and I was attending a workshop conducted by Homi Mulla in Lonavala. He narrated an interesting story that happened in his life when he started his career. He was overjoyed with his first Mercedes-Benz purchase and threw a party for all his friends. After the party, he was shocked to see that one side of his car was completely scratched. With no CCTV in that era, he could only curse his fate and move on.
There was an absolute silence in the room when everyone heard this. I was able to understand the kind of emotion he would have gone through at that time. At least, in my case, I came to know the miscreant soon. But he was not sure about who did it or how it happened. He was clueless and decided to give the car for repair at a workshop.
Years passed by, and Homi Mulla became famous as a relationship management guru. After over two decades, he was invited by one of the C-level executives working with a leading MNC, who gifted him a premium wine bottle that was 12 years old. Mulla was quite surprised by his gesture. During the conversation, the executive revealed that it was him who had scratched the car, out of jealousy. Mulla was dumbstruck on hearing the confession and didn’t know how to react. The executive continued and apologised for his shameful act. He could not digest the fact that Mulla started something on his own and bought a Mercedes for himself in a short span. Left in a state of disbelief and shock, he was magnanimous enough to say, “it’s okay” and walked out of his office.
In both cases, it was a kind of emotional insecurity, envy and low self-esteem. Though most of us would have experienced jealousy at times, only a few accept it and overcome it. Whether one is young or grown up, the most difficult person to manage is himself/herself. It is utmost important to manage oneself and control the invisible monster, jealousy. In today’s world, people get easily upset with the growth witnessed by their friends/family members/colleagues. It is important to maintain balance and control the jealousy quotient within oneself.
Controlling jealousy is easier said than done; you could practice some of the following to overcome it.
1. Gratitude – Start enjoying what you have and be thankful for it. Practising gratitude is the first step to overcoming the feeling.
2. Know the triggers – Self-introspection is the next starting point. Please understand your triggers and try to stay away from those.
3. No denial – When you have a problem, accept it. Identifying and accepting the problem is 50% of the solution. Never be in a denial mode.
4. Open communication – it is better to practice open communication with your family, friends and colleagues, which would help you overcome the emotional issue.
5. Measure – set goals for improvement and start measuring them.
Killing this invisible monster is critical and one of the core building blocks in your leadership journey. It is the most destructive weapon that would decimate you if you don’t know how to handle it properly, within you or with others.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publication. |
